These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
In the window of anOregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
In aMaine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
In the vestry of aNew England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
In aPennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."
On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
On aTennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
In front of aNew Hampshire car wash: "If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car."